Hello. Just paid a quick stop on my blog journal to dump my thoughts.
These past few months have been very emotionally challenging for me in terms of love, life, and ………. friendships? Anyway, that’s probably the only update I can give since I haven’t been THAT inclined with life yet to the point of questioning why what how when and what the hell. But one thing that stood out the most is commitment.
Being in a relationship (and trying to make it last) at a very young age is quite the challenge. The whole concept of being a teenager is to try everything at once and enjoy the moment — not be stuck in a position with someone and expect that they’re going to be there for the rest of your life. Before I entered the relationship I am in now, I told myself that i was hella ready to stay committed and to keep thinking “long-term” but I contradicted my thoughts with childish actions that could not just destroy the relationship but the friendship as well. Crazy right?
There were a lot of times I wished that I was with someone that I need not to accept so difficulty. Someone who matches with what I expect him to be. The ideal person. My close friend from college talked about how you can’t love someone “ideal”, it’s not gonna be real love, so he said; because with love comes acceptance. Therefore he stated that its fake.– the ideal person, even if there is one; is fake. You cannot love someone that matches up to your expectations, we are built to face challenges and loving the ideal person is gonna be so easy, you’ll get bored and look for someone flawed and challenge yourself if you can accept this person then the cycle goes on with looking for someone ideal again. Oh how i wish i took up psychology or some neuroscience program in order for me to explain this further. But do you get me?
So, commitment. wait for the ideal person or stay with my flawed relationship…
Even if there were tons of times i wanted to give up and stay well with my mind and soul, I have no other choice but to stay challenged.