Okay, Hi. I always tend to start my entries with “so the past few days I’ve been” and now that I have pointed that out, I can start with exactly pointing that out. (laughs)
The “ber months” (September-December) are fast approaching. Usually in the Philippines, once the calendar lands on September, the malls start playing Christmas songs; I am not one to complain about it because I personally crave the anticipation and expectation. There’s that lovely feeling of waking up in the morning not knowing how the day is going to unfold. My mind races to the thought of what my day would look like at around 5pm where I start packing up my bag and stepping out of my college building to race to the bus stop or to get an Uber. Every day I live in expectation of what will happen; I start planning things in my head – it could be scenarios that are 5 years ahead of me. It can be small things like what food to get on a scheduled trip to a different city in two months and it can get as big as planning which car will I get once I get a place of my own, or…. will I get a car in that matter. (the traffic makes me think twice about this all the time) All this planning and waiting and expecting sometimes gets out of hand; I can’t deny that if I put my mind into it too much, I might go insane.
“Okay, Breathe in; Live in the moment”
This has been my mantra since forever – quite exaggerated but, somehow true. I haven’t gotten myself onto checking what type of mind I really do have, but; as the years pass by I come to realize that my mind is not one that lives in the moment – At all – Unless, it’s at the beach or some place nice. There are times that I really don’t want moments to end. These moments are usually whenever I am out-of-town doing something crazy fun like a vacation or even work. Although, once back in the mundane Manila routine, I am always rushing for time to lapse faster and take me to a different situation.
On August I am back to the usual college program I effortlessly enrolled myself in. This time, I am on my third year. *chheeerssss* However, I think I am more excited to end this year already instead of starting it. This time I hold a bigger responsibility and planning for this year has been essential. Imagine, my work mates and I have already planned for programs that can go as far to the last month of the 2nd semester and I just think, that’s crazy. Every month, I will be expecting. Every month there’s an event day or week marked on my phone’s calendar waiting to be ticked off. It would be so easy to just fly by these days as if it not gonna be as hectic living in the “filler days” where all I can do is wake up, get to my classes, come home and sleep; Hence, “the mundane college student routine.” In spite of that, I know I am grateful of these pretty cool opportunities, it makes me feel like I won’t even know what day I’m on anymore and my rushing mind would really love that.
Then comes the worrying side of my brain, the inner demons that whisper senseless things. Usually I would always hear the same old, what if something goes wrong? or what if at this future point in time, you lose your passion?
This is where I’ve learned to crazily talk to myself and say: “Breath, live in the moment.”
It is so much easier said that done. I have observed that once you allow your mind to wander again, it’s quite hard to get out. So, what have I been doing in the hopes of keeping my mind to stay still? One.. Meditation. This can be yoga or simply downloading any meditation app that can teach you a good breathing technique and some sort of mind control magic. I have the Headspace app that fortunately still has an abundant supply of free meditation packs but as much as I want to purchase a subscription, I don’t want to rely on it so much. (My subtle way of saying I’m too broke for an app subscription, haha!) So I’m just sticking with the free breathing exercises and to be honest, they help. The second thing that I find very helpful and most importantly is the more rightful thing to do is reading. (plus it’s free!) However, this is where things can get quite cheesy because I’ve been reading more solely on books that are Christian which of course, includes the Bible. Other books would be devotionals that are scheduled which sort of aids my expectancy problem because I need to take in the lessons one day at a time, so this requires me to control my mind to stay at ease and not flip to the next page suited for tomorrow’s lesson. Of course, I get lots of good wisdom from all of these practices. More solely I get enlightened and uplifted with what has been promised and what things I should magnify on more. Still, I believe it is going to be quite a lengthy process before I master the art of living in the moment, but I know if I do, everything will start to connect.
One of my learning highlights came from a Christian Podcast discussion; Happiness will flood in when we fix our focus on faith instead of fear of the unexpected. One thing I’ve learned from the past month of doing meditations, listening and reading is that; there is something in common faith and fear has; that is – focus. To explain this;
Having that said, it is pretty obvious what I should do: Focus on faith. Magnify the good things in your life. Life is short and it does not end here. There is more to what’s in it for us in this world. Have faith. If you’re inspired to do the same, I encourage you to. I can’t promise you that it will be easy, however I promise you it will be worth it.
The mind is a powerful thing. One little thought can take hold of you and the next thing you realise, you’re not happy living in the present because we’re either too focused on the past or too excited to get to the future. It can take you a billion times to sit down and breathe and tell yourself to live in the moment and fix your focus, but stay persevered in doing so; transform yourselves by the renewing of your mind.
Let me end with this:
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans (people who don’t know God) run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thanks for reading!!